summer...? over it.

It's really all just wishful thinking right now, as it has been hot, muggy and miserable for weeks, and an end doesn't seem to be in sight...but i'm so ready for fall.

Tired of the stickiness and wildfires. Of feeling drained and awful all the time.

But these things, these lovely little pictures below, make me feel really, really....happy. and alive. 

Autumn and winter make me feel alive.

i'm ready for scarves, and shorts with tights.

ready for pinecones and wintery jewelry... like these earrings from etsy.

ready to sit inside on a cloudy rainy day and draw.

ready to bake pies. and oh these:
Apple hand pies with cheddar! Chad would love these.

...and apple cider. 

in apple cups, if you want to be fancy.

I'm definitely, definitely ready.

misty-eyed

old hurts shoved in front of me...it's amazing how we train our minds to look the other way

i'm ready for adventures, ready for different things

my silly heart is achey

i don't need a new perspective, i just need to learn to love this one.

don't mind me, i'm just a restless twenty-something.

Feeling itchy today (and not just because of my allergy-ridden skin). A mental agitation...an emotional rough patch...a sense of being trapped inside a box. I literally can't sit still.
Maybe it's all the hot weather, no rain, a few teasing clouds once a month or so...
Perhaps the worries of the complications of life, the passing of days, the potential for missed opportunities...all the driving, the traffic, the smog, the society, computers, televisions, phones, the constant stimulation, the sprawling cities and endless freeways...

I go through periods of overwhelming urges to go far away; to somewhere beautiful, chilly, green, majestic. 5 years ago, on my old blog, i wrote this post about moving to Ireland.

And years ago i also took this picture while my mom sister and i were visiting Oregon.

I've been to Austria, but i didn't quite make it to anywhere like Hallstatt...where the picture on the right was taken.
Right now i'd give anything to go there. Somewhere old, somewhere peaceful, somewhere i can feel cool breezes, breathe clean air, climb high, emerald mountains.

The need for simplicity, beauty, freshness, inspiration.

Maybe...someday.

SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW SUFJAN TOMORROW

free fings

i think i just wanna be a musician and paint things.

i need to read hitchhiker's guide.

and in the lesser-quoted but just as delightfully poignant words of inigo montoya: "i hate waiting." c'mon.

drowsy

it's...raining? it sure looks wet outside under the streetlights...

another mild earthquake today...it woke me from what ended up being a very short nap.

easter was lovely, people are lovely, my family is lovely, music is lovely, Jesus is lovely.

and anxiety sucks. :[

*head hits desk*

i'm realizing more and more that i have no idea where any of this is going.
("this" being: life, people, plans, days, hours, minutes, seconds...)
and i'd better stop trying to predict and reason it all out or i'm just going to drive myself nuts.

and you, probably.

how long, Lord?

hands off

God's directions to me at this point:

"okay, colleen
turn right
turn right
turn right
turn right again,
now keep going
aaaaaannnnnd STOP.

...just wait there for a while."

whatever you say...

tiberius

confessions of a geek-at-heart:
despite limited personal funds, i ordered star trek (original series) season 2 on dvd yesterday and it can't get here soon enough.

sufjan

what are you waiting for?