This.

This is how i want to live each day. This is why i love my Lord. This is why i love clouds. :)

golden

some days one is most content to go out & enjoy the almost-autumnal afternoon with a few of one's favorites: geranium, bougainvillea, lavender, & the lovely lantana.

altadena pickings

little. bitty. eggs.

Having this little hummingbird outside out apartment has been the sweetest thing. And it couldn't be more timely. Reminding me of preciousness and life and CUTE!!

Took this pic yesterday. isn't she beautiful?

The last couple of days, mama hummingbird has been in her nest every time i looked out for her. I never saw her leave it or move. i knew she had to be laying her eggs, because she wouldn't fly away even when i watered my plants, walked past her to get the mail, or when i would stop to take a picture. It's been magical.
I was starting to worry that she wasn't eating, but i knew that she knew what she was doing.
Then this morning i looked out the front sliding door, and she wasn't there, so i grabbed my camera and quietly stepped out to see if my suspicions were correct. And voila...

2 perfect, tiny little eggs.

I could hardly contain myself. They're about as big as a pinky nail...i went inside squealing and pounded on the bathroom door to show Chad the picture.
When i went back to the window, i saw mommy bird just returning and nestling herself sweetly into place. my heart melted. You guys...i can't...i'm gonna die of cute.

this life

Yesterday...

...just one of those "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL" kind of days.

My heart broke...again...(for, what, the 4th time in just the past year or so?) for the lives of so many that were literally blown apart.

I just can't even imagine having been in Boston yesterday...especially those who lost a limb or a loved one. The reality and scope of these acts of horrendous violence are beyond me. My mind can. not. understand them.
Whenever i feel like i've been desensitized by movies & tv, something like this--or Newtown/Sandy Hook, or Aroura, or 9/11--remind me very quickly and painfully that i definitely have not.

In that same hour, one of my oldest and dearest friends sent me a beautiful surprise: a picture of her just born baby girl...nestled on her chest...tiny, black-haired, eyes wide with brand-new sight. I'd known it could be any day now, but it was the last thing i expected at that point! My heart mended just enough... enough to finish the work i needed to do.

Over the weekend a hummingbird built a teeny tiny nest right outside our living room.

it's about as big as a teaspoon

took this picture this morning from the window, she totally
saw me spying on her.

It scares me how precious and fragile it is...that there is so much working against its survival...but isn't every day like that? Every day of our lives?

This world is often a horrendous place...but there is still room for miracles. Like a perfect little human being pulled from the womb of a woman who has struggled through so much of her life, but God has held her, blessed her, kept her. And here she is now, a mother. A mother!

Lives ended, lives begun. Mystery. Grief. Joy.

peace? yes, even peace...

sighs for long ago sunshine...

Today is a beautiful day. It's not cold, it's not hot. I left my desk to answer my phone and went outside to an afternoon that begged to be rejoiced in...

Today is one of those days that i wish i was 11 years old...in the sense that i am yearning to run around my grandparents' backyard with my little sister and play pretend. Go swimming...then sun ourselves on towels spread on the grass. Eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while the cool breeze lifts our damp hair around our faces. Make crowns out of clover blossoms. Doze off to the lullaby of soft rustling leaves in the trees, the buzzing of bees, you can almost hear the clouds moving through the cerulean sky. The sounds of a fast-approaching summer. 

But i'm not 11...i'm 30. How did that happen??
I'll never run around my grandparents' backyard and play pretend again. I'll play pretend with my own children one day...but my grandparents' house is gone. We had to sell it 2 years ago.
My mind is heavy with the weight of now. Of being a grown-up...of things like aging parents, being laid-off last week, helping and encouraging a tired husband. Not to mention all the hurt and suffering those around me are experiencing...!

But how wonderful to have memories of those days to think back on and be grateful for. I'm so glad we had that house. I'm so glad the Adams got to bring their babies there. I'm so glad I had a job to support Chad and me these past months, and i know the Lord will bring another along. Chad and i knew this first year of marriage would be hard, with him being in school and working, and me in this industry that i feel i have no place in...but for some reason God has me here. And at least we get to see each other every day...even if it's just for a few hours in the morning or evening.

I guess more than anything i just wish i could go play outside in the sunshine with my sister. in bare feet. in our little girl bodies. with no bigger concern than making sure we didn't get peanut butter and jelly in our hair.

present pinspiration

cozy yummy breakfast & coffee (because it's my favorite thing)

rustic eclectic lush and light (because this is what i want my house to look like)

peachy pink wellies (because it's been raining! and, because, peachy pink! and wellies!)

super rad pillow (because you can't have enough awesome pillows. and i love beach house) 

cold coastal foresty cliffs (because i want to write stories there)

arts mountains advents

current pinspiration

create

can i go?

lovely advent calendar

this haircut. and the dress.