be still

I am learning that i'll just never know the reasons why things are allowed...i must somehow content my self that God does. And that He has promised His allowance of all things in His love. Last week our dear friends Kent and Nicole had to watch their newborn baby boy Everett suddenly succumb to seizures and could be facing permanent mental and physical damage from a blood clot in his brain.

They wrote this in a recent their email update:


epoch of the sad, sad orchid

When i started my job here at WildBrain almost 3 weeks ago, the other 5 people in the room i work in (the background department...we're a TEAM!) decided we needed to spruce the place up a bit. My supervisor brought in some abstract art by his 3 year old daughter and another BG painter brought in a lava lamp, and some drawings by her 6-year old.
i brought a copy of a Sargent painting i had torn out of somewhere...a couple of books, and a very, very, sad, sad orchid.


i've always preferred it cloudy

"Behold, He cometh with clouds."
~Revelation 1:7

"In the Bible clouds are always connected with God. Clouds are those sorrows or sufferings or providences, within or without our personal lives, which seem to dispute the rule of God. It is by those very clouds that the Spirit of God is teaching us how to walk by faith. If there were no clouds, we should have no faith. 'The clouds are but the dust of our Father's feet.' The clouds are a sign that He is there. What a revelation it is to know that sorrow and bereavement and suffering are the clouds that come along with God! God cannot come near without clouds, He does not come in clear shining.

"It is not true to say that God wants to teach us something in our trials: through every cloud He brings, He wants us to unlearn something. His purpose in the cloud is to simplify our belief until our relationship to Him is exactly that of a child - God and my own soul, other people are shadows. Until other people become shadows, clouds and darkness will be mine every now and again. Is the relationship between myself and God getting simpler than ever it has been?

"There is a connection between the strange providences of God and what we know of Him, and we have to learn to interpret the mysteries of life in the light of our knowledge of God. Unless we can look the darkest, blackest fact full in the face without damaging God's character, we do not yet know Him.
'They feared as they entered the cloud . . .' - Is there anyone 'save Jesus only' in your cloud? If so, it will get darker; you must get to the place where there is 'no one any more save Jesus only'."

~Oswald Chambers

thank you, my sweet chad, for reminding me of this.  <3



i think i'm in slight panic mode right now...

but i'm working, so that's good. it's fantastic, in fact.
i'm just...weary.

and my face is trying to kill me.


so much bitter-sweetness.

where is everything going...?



baby poop on my washcloth...i think i am officially a member of the household.


just things

Ian is doing a lot better :) thank you for prayers...they worked. Now waiting to find out what exactly is going on in his little system.

Gwen's 3rd birthday was on Saturday...lots of wondering and pondering of sadness and God's purposes.

On Monday i start my new job on The Ricky Gervais Show.

Yesterday we had a great 4th of July at my mom and dad's...the twins were a hit, as usual. There was an epic photoshoot with them and Caid...i'll later post some of the hilights.

Trying to keep my mind on things good and pure...and to have a perspective of the eternal.