life lesson #2

if you can't walk and text at the same, you probably shouldn't be walking through the crosswalk at night while texting.




the best possible outcome to being woken up by the police and finding out your car was broken into and a bunch of stuff taken: having your things being found in a stolen car a half a block away. just ask amaris!
or the wisecracking middle-aged cop that helped us out...you can call him Mag.



i was recently asked by a very talented guitarist friend to help him record a cover of barracuda by heart. "yeah, sure!" i said. but listening to it repeatedly to further my familiarity with the song has produced one incessant concern: how i will ever be able to sing like anne wilson.



never running the heat in one's apartment in the middle of winter because one can't afford the electric bill makes hot showers extra special. especially when water is included in the rent.



happy christmas-time...

love, colleen



happy almost christmas :)


"stop crying. whining. whatever."
 ~girl pushing a baby in a stroller through target, after the baby makes a whimpering sound.


lil photo-er

caid took a picture of me



just wondering why i am the way i am.



today i got to spend all afternoon and evening singing and recording songs. it was wonderful. there isn't a whole lot in this world that makes me happier.



it was too hot today for my sanity.



i'm sorry, but led christmas lights are just creepy. have you seen them?? i don't care how "energy efficient" they are. they're like ghost martian robot zombie christmas lights...they're all cold and unsettling and creepy!


introducing new feature: maranatha kids are freaking hilarious

a boy is standing next to another boy's desk, waiting for the teacher...

boy sitting: (sincerely) you cleaned your pants.

boy standing: i have more than one pair.


"who would want to steal your english paper?? i might, but nobody else would."
~a girl to her best friend as they walk down the hallway



a month ago today we lost Gwennie.

it still doesn't seem real...sometimes it feels like she's been gone for months...sometimes it feels like it never happened--as if just yesterday i felt her hands on my face, her head against my neck.
not a day goes by that i don't long for her.

i miss you, littlest.


introducing new feature: life lessons! and now, life lesson #1

never, i don't care how careful you are, never ever drink coffee, in your car, in a white shirt. because, guess what: if you get the teesiest tinsiest little drop on you, it's gonna show up like a mother.
especially if the shirt is brand new, and it's the first time you've worn it.
simple science, people.



wow, rain

packed up wren's home this morning.

still kinda got the sniffles.

it's raining really, really hard.

better go write...


this just in:

a renewed sense of urgency


sore throat

but at least i get to fall asleep to the sound of the rain falling.
dang it i think i'm getting sick



i like being exhausted when i've had an honest-to-goodness long and busy and productive day.



"are we really in pomona?"


christmas birds

i love the christmas tree



outside it's raining
i am in the library
watching the grey fall


pip n brie

no one can make pip laugh like pip can make pip laugh

i'm gonna terminate ya'--like the terminata'!

sometimes borders simply plays horrible music.



i got to help my oldest friend pick out her wedding dress today. as i sat on a couch next to her mom and watched her try on stunning gown after stunning gown, i smiled. who would have thought, when we were 6 years old and fighting about throwing a volleyball back and forth, that we would be at this point together 21 years later. life is weird.


this kind of sums up my evening...



maintaining control of 24 freshman in study hall this morning felt more like trying to teach 24 sugar-high 3-year olds how to meditate. at a monster truck rally. in finnish. on crack.


this actually happens a lot

i went to amoeba tonight and bought 2 cds...one of them being cat power's the greatest. i've been wanting to pick it up for a while, and there it was in the used section.
i listened to it on my way home, and while at once being so wonderfully delighted by it--i was also extremely frustrated because, damn it, i want to write music like that.


"we have to realize that we cannot earn or win anything from God; we must either recieve it as a gift or do without it."
even in this "age of entitlement" this is so difficult for us to accept. it is not in my nature to desire poverty, vulnerability and helplessness...and yet...
"...the greatest blessing spiritually is the knowledge that we are destitute; until we get there our Lord is powerless."




"O Lord, deliver me from this lust of always vindicating myself."
~St. Augustine



thanksgiving last night
sleeping in ridiculously late today

nothing like home-made apple pie for lunch.



it has been 36 hours since i made eggplant parmesan and my skin finally doesn't smell like garlic anymore.


memorial for gwennie tomorrow at 11...lunch afterwards at my parent's.
for details e-mail me:


"For with You is the fountain of life;
In Your light we see light."
Psalm 36:9


thank you

thank you everyone for the prayers for the family. please continue to intercede for joey, ginger and caid. the outpouring of love we have all experienced has been overwhelming...we are so grateful for our family in Christ.


Gwenyth June Adams
July 3, 2008 ~ November 14, 2009

with mama and big brother, Caid

we are so grateful that you are the Lord's, and that you are with Jesus
in your full and perfect glory with Him
who made you so lovely.

i love you and miss you ceaselessly
the day can't come soon enough when i will see you again, little bug.



hey everyone, please be praying for gwennie...a few days ago she got very sick, and she's been in the hospital since yesterday. they diagnosed her with pnemonia and about an hour ago they admitted her to the ICU. i don't know if it's H1N1...she is very susceptible and weak, so please lift up prayers of healing for gwen, and strength for joey, ginger and caid...thank you...
"no calamity will bring only evil to us, if we immediately take it in fervent prayer to God."



it just took me about 8 seconds to realize i confused my proactiv toner with nail polish remover...



simple algebra

(good drawing day) + pizza + wine + (top model)
full + drowsy + ( feeling productive)
(not having to wake up early)

sleeping well tonight

and who says i'm not good at math.


i love how scared people are of liking the new moon soundtrack.



laura and i have been watching the oc in the evenings.

last night she had a dream that she, pip and i went to see a band...which was made up entirely of clones of luke...and began their set with the nazi heil hitler salute before plunging into a haze of death metal. apparently i really liked the music, so i stayed behind while laura went after pip, who realized he needed a desk chair and ran off to find it. wondering what on earth i could possibly like about the band, she searched for pip, at one point descending down some stairs and found herself in a labyrinth full of creepy jim henson-esque goblins...the end.



Look among the nations and
Be utterly astounded!
For I will work a work in your
Which you would not believe,
though it were told to you.
Habakkuk 1:5



third post attempt. i got nothing.


i have...

"An Italian singer wrote this song with gibberish to sound like English. If you've ever wondered what other people think Americans sound like, this is it."



my roommate laura and i had wine and cheese for dinner tonight.
at one point she was describing to me the different things i could taste in her special bottle of Beaune-Montrevenots Premier Cru, that she bought while she was in france a few years back.

i swirled it, i sniffed it, i sipped it, i held it on the front of my tongue, on the back, and then swallowed it...and for the life of me all i could taste was "red wine".

oh well...at least i can still be a lord of the rings snob.



saw half-handed cloud tonight, and then ate animal fries.

i can hear laura typing away in her room, comically strung out on diet coke.

i'm doing my nightly push-ups on my fists because my right wrist is sprained or something...i think it makes me look sooooo much more hard core.

1 samuel 19 is so amazing and strange.



making chili, baking cornbread, carving pumpkins, and of course, eating lots of candy.

a long run will be necessary tomorrow, i think.

happy halloween :)



i'm subbing for a graphic design class, listening to the kids chatting as they are (mostly) researching logo designs to create a logo of their own initials. beside me is a bag of halloween themed donut-holes. it's cold outside, and i just saw cam and reid at lunch. i am content.


"miss police" :P

i like it better when they call me "police lady" "poli-ché" or "911".

and especially when they just call me "colleen". technically they're not supposed to, but i let it slide.



windy chilly air
it feels like fall today!
i got to wear boots


how did i get here?

if someone told me even last week that today i would be subbing for high school honors physics i probably would have laughed and then cried and then said "you lie."

but here i am!

(granted, i'm not really teaching them anything, but still)


birthdays are exhausting



i'm sitting behind a teacher's desk at maranatha high school about to sub senior english lit...my first academic class.

Lord help me...



i bought 2 pumpkins today and put them on our balcony

4 is still my favorite number

i'm going to be 27 in 3 days and that's weird.


hands off

God's directions to me at this point:
"okay, colleen
turn right
turn right
turn right
turn right again,
now keep going
aaaaaannnnnd STOP.

...just wait there for a while."

whatever you say...



early tomorrow morning i'm starting a day-long trek home...traveling from annapolis to washington dc and then finally flying out of new york in the evening...bravely facing buses, subways and airplanes...without having any real idea of what exactly i'm doing!

and i'm sick.

please pray for me.


coming home tomorrow...it feels like i've been gone for so much longer than 10 days. i've done too much and seen too much and talked to too many people to squeeze into such a tiny fraction of time...! for now, i will enjoy my last day in beautiful annapolis with the lovely pappas's and their friends.

ps...living with (almost) exclusively women for over a week has completely screwed up my menstrual cycle.


10 heretofar

times square in manhattan
high line
matt in bostonrain
cookies and milk with nicolepicking apples
fall in connecticut



boston is one of my favorite cities.
today was magical...pouring rain to crisp, clear sunshine and blustery wind, leaves swirling, brick buildings, cemeteries, history, mochas, bicycles...

this afternoon amaris and i took a train to mystic, connecticut, to see nicole and her family (there's me right now, all ready to go to sleep...and in a bed...! not a hostel or someone's cement floor!)

tomorrow morning we're taking a walk around the town to see the river and the houses, and then we're going apple picking, visiting a cider mill, and then coming back to their home to make apple butter.



today as we rode the 4 1/2 hours on the bus from new york to massachusetts the scenery changed from green to orange and red and yellow.
amaris and i are in boston right now about to go to sleep at matt trimble's.
he took us to harvard, and harvard square, and bought us dinner and dessert and it was lovely.

i've decided i love boston.


part of it

in 10 hours i'll be on a jet plane to the east. 

see ya!!!!!!!


oh man i'm dragging today.

photoshop painting
movies behind me playing
not seeing quite straight



9x12, graphite



lovely cool air crept into the city this morning...

you just love how posed this photo is.

first waking in the new abode...



...moved in.

come by and visit :)

(but do it before saturday because then i'll be gone for a while)



today was good and exhausting. moving in this heat = YUCK. still, got lots of boxes to the new apt today...tomorrow is the last big haul...anyone want to help?? i'll buy you beer!!!


boxing up my life...


post #100

is it just me or did that come really fast? like everything right now...it's all coming so fast...

...except, of course (this being southern california), for fall. 101 degrees today. SHEESH


"we love the beach"

music video for an original tyrant lizard king song

i love my sister



the address for this blog has changed. it is now:


just as you see it. reset your browsers :)



It's been almost a year since i last dyed my hair brown. every single individual hair on my head is perfectly dual-toned, half blonde half brown. i thought it was kinda funny.


anna: would you stop touching my keloid??

cam: i'm trying to pop it!

anna: it doesn't pop!

cam: wanna bet?



prayer, lunch, make cupcakes, draw, decorate cupcakes, pack, dress up as a lizzie, birthday party, bed.



i've been working all week on my first real, full-scale background painting...which i hoped to have completed by tonight...alas i'm heading to bed defeated! i'm just too tired...i'll have to finish it tomorrow. it'll be nice to be done with this whole "learning process" and be able to whip one out in a couple of days like everyone else seems to do!
for now...sleep.


"are you coming back tomorrow?"

i had such a good time spending time with, and helping high schoolers with art projects all day today that i truly almost can't believe it.

and yes, they did call me miss police. which they thought was hilarious.


hi, i'm miss police

tomorrow i have my first day as a substitute art teacher at maranatha.
high schoolers.
i was saying to my family tonight that i'm this really weird combination of feeling like kind of a cool, hip, older-than-them-but-still-young-enough-to-be-cool artist person...but also dealing with the fact that, when among them, the inside of me reverts back to a shy, insecure 15-year-old that is nothing but a painfully awkward geek who doesn't fit in with anyone...so it's kinda confusing.

should be interesting.


sometimes i am blown away by what vulgar language people will so loudly and brazenly use in pleasant, public places. i suppose i shouldn't be, but i am.




so much looming in the
front of me

so much needing to
be done

ah, the excitement...and oh, the fear!


3 win

starting 2 new employment opportunities
latest commission going well
laura and i got the apartment we wanted!

and 1 lose
time to budget for rent...which includes weaning myself off my daily coffee :(



andrew and i are sitting outside of a starbucks drinking iced coffee, when a woman and a chatting little boy walk by. they are nearest just in time for us to hear her her say sweetly to him: "sometimes you talk about things that really aren't that interesting to me."
it takes a moment to sink in, but suddenly andrew and i are aghast in quiet, almost forced laughter, sharing whispered "oh my god"s as they pass us.
we are speechless for a few seconds, then andrew smirks and says, "i'm sure the kid feels the same way."


world's most boring injuries.

a couple of years ago i messed up my knee so badly i still have to run with a brace on it...i hurt it by sleeping on it wrong.
yesterday i bruised the bottom of my foot by pressing it too hard on the rung of the stool i was sitting on. i was concentrating so intensely on my drawing i didn't notice how much pressure i was putting on it for so long a time...and now it hurts to walk.

see...? boring.



"God is not an eternal blessing-machine for men; He did not come to save men out of pity: He came to save men because He had created them to be holy."
~oswald chambers



potentially big day tomorrow...


open window

the first time in weeks
outside is cool and clean and
i breathe the night air


oh, i'm not stressed! i just have rocks in my stomach and my head kind of feels like a swollen balloon and i can't breathe too well and i want to curl up in bed and sleep for a month.
but i'm not stressed.


terrible beauty

amazing time-lapse photography of the smoke from the station fire. all it needs is a philip glass soundtrack...



i hate money



1 fire still out of control.

2 hilarious dogs i'm taking care of

3 drawings i hope to finish soon

4 new leads on possible living situatuons

5 minutes before i get ready for bed...



three of my favorite pictures from the past 24 hours or so...

last night

this morning

this afternoon




watching southern california burn to a crisp.



exiting my car in a parking lot recently, i saw a sedan covered in ed hardy bumper stickers and even displaying an ed hardy sun visor. it was ridiculous. upon seeing it, my very first thought about the owner of the car was: "well, there is a pretty good chance that this person is not white".