schmoozing. i does it not at all well. at all.

call it what you want...schmoozing, networking, selling yourself, putting-it-out-there...

i just...i can't.

i'm quite suddenly facing my last week at my job, and that means i'm doing one of the things i hate most in the whole world...trying to convince people that i'm this awesome, competent, desirable person that they want--they need to have!

my biggest motivation isn't money...it's that if i don't have more work after this it will 99% be my own fault for being an insecure coward. what. come, on colleen.

the one nice thing is that in this industry, part of the process is simply shoving my portfolio at someone and letting that do the work.
...but the initial shopping myself around and making calls and interviewing and rubbing elbows and politics and "me, me, me!!" i'm awkward, i get either too giggly/loud or too quiet/demure and all the while i'm aware of it and spinning in circles in my brain...!


this is why i never dated.

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