half awake

feeling extra weary and burdened today...maybe because it's friday? maybe this week's lack of sleep has added up. maybe because my heart is heavy with the pains and plights of people around me,  the mystery of circumstances, my own stinging self-consciousness...

i wish i could just make everyone i love happy, i wish i could keep them from hurting. i wish i could knock sense into people and force them to make better decisions. i wish i could force my brain to function normally and not shrink from every good (or unpleasant) thing that i am given.

ok that's enough.

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