i sent this to some friends today, and then i thought i'd put it here, too, so i don't forget it.

so, i was reading "my utmost for his highest" this morning before work (trying very hard to do that every day…so far i've made it 2! woo!) i originally flipped to today's devotional, then glanced over to grab something and when i looked back to read it it was on the 5th. so i read that instead :)

it. relieved me. 

i know we're all dealing with heavy loads and needs and trying to do our best in infinite things in our lives…work, families, school, health, emotional struggles, etc.

for me it's trying to get a super awesome start to this new job (and not be constantly afraid of failing), be healthy, be a good wife, plan for the future, be more open to people, stay in better touch with friends, be creative…the list goes ON and ON. 

anyway, in the midst of this i just found it sweet that God knew to encourage me to rely on him and not on myself for all these things…from social anxiety, to deciding to eat kale instead of pizza for dinner. i emboldened my favorite parts. 

Jesus answered him, ’Where I am going you cannot follow Me now, but you shall follow Me afterward’ —John 13:36

No one is in front of Peter except the Lord Jesus Christ. The first “Follow Me” was nothing mysterious; it was an external following. Jesus is now asking for an internal sacrifice and yielding.

Between these two times Peter denied Jesus with oaths and curses. But then he came completely to the end of himself and all of his self-sufficiency. There was no part of himself he would ever rely on again. In his state of destitution, he was finally ready to receive all that the risen Lord had for him. No matter what changes God has performed in you, never rely on them. Build only on a Person, the Lord Jesus Christ, and on the Spirit He gives.

All our promises and resolutions end in denial because we have no power to accomplish them. When we come to the end of ourselves, not just mentally but completely, we are able to “receive the Holy Spirit.”— the idea is that of invasion. There is now only One who directs the course of your life, the Lord Jesus Christ.

(Here's the link to the whole thing)

how an elderly woman and some shiny unmentionables joined to make me question getting out of bed today

Gas station, waiting for my tank to fill up. 

Old lady pulls up to the pump in front of me, begins to back up. Old lady backs up into bumper, stops. Old lady backs up further into my bumper (crunching sound), stops. Old lady backs up AGAIN, at which point i'm all "HEY HEY STOP". Old lady opens door, dressed in her fancy Talbots best. "Are you okay?" i demand. "Yes." "Are you sure?" Old lady ignores me and looks at her bumper, which is scratched, then mine. I brush off some dirt. "That's not from my car" says the old lady rudely, then turns around and walks away.
Conversation over, i no longer exist. 
Not once did she look me in the eye. No "oh my goodness," or "I'm sorry".

i wish i had taken her license plate number because when she pulls out i see her weave in traffic. ugh.

Later i see a giant black truck with chrome covered balls. i commence asking the universe "why, why, why...?

i remember when it said 115

Cool and collected? sometimes.

Overly sensitive, stress-eating and losing sleep? maybe.

Excited in ways i can't possibly express? yes.

eye of the sparrow

"bad lip reading" of the first presidential debate. my favorite part starts around 2:15. one commenter wrote: "is this the trailer for the hobbit?"

go HERE and be amazed.

also, this picture of the Princess Bride 25th anniversary cast reunion. 

chases, escapes, true love, miracles.

facebook + teenagers + mundane events =

tired and a glass of wine.

Last night i thought to myself, word-for-word: how could anything possibly be more current than it is right now??

engaged to my best friend

waking up was confusing

Yesterday i blasted lady gaga to bug chad while we were driving. I can't remember why, but i'm sure it was a very good reason.
Anyway, it backfired on me--i dreamed about lady gaga all night last night. My brain even made up new lady gaga songs. One of them was about grocery shopping.
Very, very, epic grocery shopping.

And i was wearing a Patrick Stewart mask.

i had a venti americano this morning

Well, thank goodness i only had to languish in a crowded assembly room for one day. Look how proud i am to do my civic duty!

My sister did this drawing for me on monday...
It's been a looong week.Yesterday i thought i was regressing health wise...but doing better today.

Speaking of which, i have a doctor's appointment today to discuss my blood. :D
In the past year or two i've had my blood taken more times than i can remember...and i can say that the big fat bruise that developed after the nurse took blood last week...? not what's supposed to happen.
But she talked to me about Halloween raves and how awesome they are while she did it so it's cool.

Today is Bilbo and Frodo's birthday, by the way. Also known as Hobbit Day. Yes, it's a thing.

Caid is steadily becoming a Miyazaki fan. He absolutely LOVES My Neighbor Totoro and hums multiple songs from the score. I'm so proud!!
His favorite part, he says, is "when they get the acorns"...also "the part with the goat". His favorite character is catbus. He likes to make noises like catbus does...he sounds like the garbage disposal.

OH i forgot...i found a pure white hair smack in the middle of my bangs yesterday. In my bangs--which i look at multiple times a day. Which means it wasn't there day before yesterday. (of course, being me, i pulled it out and have since glued it into my journal.) How does that HAPPEN?? also, ITALICS!

Joey said that he saw a dead owl on the freeway the other day. An owl.

 i really should be working.

command z

Night before last i had one of those dreams that gives one the rare opportunity of being REALLY happy when you're rudely awakened by your alarm in the morning...
In my dream i decided to buy a new car--I have a job now, so i can totally afford it!--i thought to myself ( conveniently forgetting that it's only 4 months long). I mean, my current car totally has 2 dents in it...i can't possibly drive that around anymore.
So i bought a super cute awesome red Subaru...and in my dream it was pretty much exactly this model. And i loved it.

code fabulous

just in case you've been secluded up in a silver oak tree for the past couple of months, here is a link to 'some beats'...from the genius minds of pip and ian. turn it up!!!

SOME BEATS

time

remember when myspace was the coolest, most newfangled, awesomest thing around?

remember when the phrase "remember when" referred to something 30 years ago instead of 3?

morning.

sometimes...you sleep through your alarm...waking up right when you're supposed to be in front of a class full of students. and then you jump out of bed so fast and in such panic, you go into vasal shock and faint on your bathroom floor...coming to just as you hear your cell phone ringing and it's the school wondering where the heck you are, and you tell them you missed your alarm and then fainted and are feeling nauseous but NOT TO WORRY you're still coming, you're just going to miss the first class! "are you sure," they ask, "because we can call another sub"...and you assure them you will be there at 9:00 insisting you will be fine...so you get up to finish brushing your teeth, only to fall down on the floor with your ears ringing again. then, after finally grabbing a bagel even though you feel like you want to puke, you run down to your car, get inside, and put the key in the ignition...and nothing happens...then you notice the dome light has been left on for about 15 hours and the battery is dead...so you have to call the school and tell them the car won't start and you feel horrible and they'll just have to get another substitute that day and you sit in the seat and can't even cry from the shock of what the heck all just happened??

happy birthday

the boys have arrived...! 

ginger and joey's twins were born tonight at just under 30 weeks...not quite december, but it is what it is...

left: ???          right: henry

henry ~ 2 lbs, 7 oz
quoth joey via facebook: "this is the dude that kicked the bag open and started the whole ruckus, then got really tired."

no name yet! ~ 2 lbs 11 oz
joey again: "this guy played it cool, stayed in the fluid and when he got on the outside had a lot to say about the abuse he endured for 7 months."

dearest Ginger had them tonight by c-section. they just couldn't wait any longer...

i'm speechless

God is amazing. ~PLEASE keep praying for them all~

the church of body modification

yep, it's a thing!

*

head...so...light...

bam

i'm just now beginning to fully realize (yes i meant that) how truly challenging, upheaving, difficult, painful, amazing and exciting the rest of this year has the potential to be.

yikes

i was in a starbucks last week waiting to meet my aunt wren, and as i was putting a drop of milk into my iced coffee, i stood in front of a bulletin board covered in fliers and postings.
there was a section of it where someone had put up some art pieces from an elementary school.
this was one of them...it scared me...why would someone put this one up???

the writing says: 

Im ty-logoyx. ive had been in the dark corner of the prom.
If anyone comes near they will be chopped into shreds. If
they die I sometimes take there clothes and use it for my own.
Nobody cought me but I will keep on doing it till i am sick of it.

new babies

the word is officially out...joey and ginger are having twins this december...

God is good.

so are prayers.

thank you :)

srsly

waiting for my tamales to cook. drawing a drawing.

and...i may have just become part of a legit band...
more to come...